When I became a vegetarian nearly a decade ago I didn’t know what to expect. I never had a really great reason to quit eating meat. I wasn’t making a stand for animal rights or trying to get healthier. The only reason I had for becoming a vegetarian was to see how long I could last. It was meant to be an experiment that lasted a few months tops but mutated into a longer exodus.

O'Donnell

My assumption was that my dietary alteration would only effect me. I never anticipated that my choice to go vegetarian would put such a sour taste in the mouth of one of my beloved family members.

My grandmother has allowed my vegetarianism to become the bane of her existence. Meals at her house always feature at least one battle between her and I about the lack of red meat on my plate. This is not because I get a sick thrill out of arguing with an old lady who stands barely as tall as my shoulders. My grandmother, as sweet as she can be, simply doesn’t understand the point of being a vegetarian, and it frustrates her.

My grandmother does try to accommodate me but misses the mark by a bit. One winter we engaged in a heated argument over her homemade vegetable soup. When I turned down her offers for a bowl several times she lost patience. She didn’t want to hear my reason for not eating the soup which was it was made with rather large hunks of beef.

She shook her head and protested that despite the beef it still was VEGETABLE soup. All I could do was sigh and stare at the large pot sitting on the stove. The soup bubbled inside the pot. The beef chunks peaked out from the murky broth mocking me.

I have since given up trying to explain to my grandmother why chicken and turkey do not fit into a vegetarian diet. Though I cannot argue with her that both of these are indeed feathered birds, I can’t seem to convince her they fall into the meat food group.  I could further my point by describing our wars over the timeless question “Can green beans be cooked with or without bacon” but that might be overkill.

These are only a few reasons why my grandmother views me as something like a family meal terrorist. In her mind I bring my vegetarianism to the dinner table with the purpose of causing disorder and chaos.

I assumed vegetarians were all viewed as peaceful, loving people. I feared my grandmother’s reports of my vegetarian militancy might get me kicked out of the club. I could envision a group of darkly cloaked individuals showing up at my house in the middle of the night to inform me that my presence as a vegetarian was no longer welcome. If there was an herbivore council, I was sure to be number one on their termination list.

As it turns out, I am not the only vegetarian who has a soiled reputation. Though none of the top offenders famously battled with their own grandmother, I believe their wrongdoings bring much more shame to vegetarians than anything I have done.

Regarded as one of the most evil humans to ever live, Adolf Hitler was the head of Germany’s NAZI party. Thanks to the information obtained from the unbiased source Vegetariansareevil.com, it is now know that the leader of the Third Reich was a vegetarian. According to the site, Hitler despised hunting and much preferred the company of animals than that of humans. Huddled in his bunker and on the verge of capture, Hitler cuddled with his doggie “Blondi” before taking his own life. Hearing stories like this makes me fear reincarnation. Nobody wants to come back in the form of a pet that belongs to an evil dictator. I am going to go out on a limb and say if given the capability to speak, Blondi may have had a few disagreements with Hitler’s policies. History might be very different if Hitler and Blondi and the same communication relationship as Lassie and Timmy.

Russell Brand is a British comedian and husband to pop star Katy Perry. Recently PETA awarded him the title of being the year’s Sexiest Vegetarian. Though he poses as a funny man, Brand showed is true sinister side when he hosted the MTV’s VMA Awards. During one of his monologues, Brand directed lewd jokes at the Jonas Brothers. His jokes focused on how the brothers where purity rings as a pledge to maintain the virginity. Brand will never sink his teeth into a steak but he will take a bite out of three teenage musicians’ choice to remain abstinent ’til marriage.

The website Ecorazzi raises the suspicion that Sith Lord Darth Vader may also be a vegetarian. Though a fictional character, Darth Vader has struck fear into the hearts of many children since Star Wars was first released in 1977. Ecorazzi looks to Star Wars fan message boards that bring up the point that Jedis who channel the force are most likely vegetarians. Also it is pointed out that due to the fact Vader is confined to his black suit to keep him alive he probably took all his meals in liquid form. If any of this rings true and Darth Vader really was a vegetarian, then that kills my long-held belief that if given the chance Vader would devour a village of Ewoks like a fat guy at a hot wing eating contest.

If there was a Mount Rushmore of evil, Charles Manson would definitely get a few votes to be one of the faces carved in the mountain side. Manson and his cult of followers invaded the home where actress Sharon Tate was staying. Tate, who was pregnant at the time, was having a small party that evening. Manson and his crew killed Tate and all the party attendees. Manson who is still in prison has been a longtime vegan. Rather an odd paradox that a man could think murdering several people is a grand idea but the notion of eating a chicken salad sandwich for lunch sounds like complete lunacy.

Much  to my surprise, the Antichrist is currently living among us. Though it is not known where the evil beast is, one can rest assured it is not feasting at any burger joint in the world. BBC news reports that Cardinal Giacomo Biffi believes the Antichrist described in the book of Revelations is on earth and disguised as a philanthropist supporting creeds like vegetarianism and animal rights. If you believe what the good Cardinal preaches, then there is a seven headed monster from the darkest pits of Hell here on earth in costume. Its purpose is to corrupt human souls and bring down the Catholic Church. Though awfully busy with evil intentions apparently the Antichrist still can find time to watch his figure by refraining from eating meat.

Morrissey is the one named lead singer of the alternative rock band The Smiths, successful solo artist and poster boy for all attention starved manic depressives. He takes militant vegetarianism to a whole new level. The Mirror UK published an article covering a Morrissey concert this summer where upon entry to the venue fans were frisked by security to ensure that they had no meat products on their person. While performing in Warsaw, Poland, Morrissey compared the recent shooting in Norway to actions used by fast food restaurant chains McDonalds and KFC. Needless to say, his comparison rubbed many people the wrong way.

I’ve always been aware of a lot of the stigmas held against vegetarians. I can see how some carnivorous people see vegetarians as radical left wing, tree hugging loons.  When you Google image search the word vegetarian it doesn’t take long to find a picture of a bearded man dressed all in hemp sitting on the concrete playing a bongo drum.

The side of vegetarianism that isn’t often seen proves to be much darker. There are dictators, murderers, depressed alternative rock singers, and family meal terrorists who all have lived a meatless lifestyle. Even though I continue to be a vegetarian, I am much more leery of my fellow brothers and sisters. Like my wise grandmother, I am now keen to notice the dark side of vegetarianism.

Jordan O’Donnell