Kevin Hahn in his new glasses.

I’m a nerd. There are very few ways to avoid that fact. Sure, I try to publicly disguise that fact by writing a cool pop culture blog for The Local Q. I don’t go up to complete strangers and tell them how much I love “The West Wing,” “Firefly,” “Dune,” Battlestar Galactica,” “The Lord of the Rings,” “Star Wars,” “Skyrim,” random trivia, puns or going to school. I at least try to delay the obvious fact that I am a nerd through self-restraint, maintaining an operational knowledge of sports, and (I would like to think) functional interpersonal skills.

Sadly, my days of outwardly masking my nerdhood are at an end. I have glasses now.

I’ve always been on the cusp of needing corrective eyewear, but in the past I have always opted against glasses because of the cost, inconvenience, and I didn’t want to be called “four eyes.” However, this summer when I took the basic eye exam to get my driver’s license renewed, I could barely read the letters (please, nobody tell the Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles). That is when I began to realize I actually need glasses.

Now I have glasses. I like them a lot more than I imagined I would. Even though it’s a minor correction they really help my eyes. Everything is crisper and sharper looking. Plus I get complements like, “wow those really make you look smart.” I guess I didn’t look very smart before.

I guess now that I have glasses I can do dramatic things like take them off when I’m delivering important news or throw them down on the table in frustration. While this has taken some time to get used to I don’t think it will change my life considerably, aside from the mocking taunts of “four eyes,” which strangers walking down the street have started to hurl at me.

Also, I would really appreciate it if no one stole my lunch money.

Kevin Hahn