The Other Side

I’ve always loved the movie “Almost Famous.”  The film chronicles the journey of a very young music journalist covering his first big story for Rolling Stone magazine — the young man, who by chance of fate, is plucked from his everyday life and goes on the road with a big time rock band.

At the risk of sounding cliche I find this movie to be a perfect example of a fairy tale for modern times.  There is something magical to me about being freed of the rigors of the mundane everyday life and having the opportunity to do something out of the ordinary.  Though “Almost Famous” tells the story of the film’s director Cameron Crowe, the whole tale still seems unbelievable.  Being able to leave life behind for a bit and tour with a rock band is something reserved for wild imaginations.  That may be true for some, but if you happen to be a lucky veteran then all of this could become a reality.  According to MSNBC.com, the classic rock band Kiss is looking to hire a hard working vet for their upcoming summer tour.

Working with the Hiring Our Heroes program, Kiss is searching for a set carpenter for their tour featuring fellow rockers Motley Crue.  The MSNBC.com article covering the story gives the tasks the lucky vet will be asked to partake in on the job.  Some of these duties include assembling the stage, helping run effects during the show and taking down the set afterwards.  Lack of training in carpentry is not a problem — all the band is looking for is someone willing to work long hours.  The tour kicks off on July 14 and continues through Sept. 25.  Helping put on one of the most infamous shows in rock history night after night seems like a small price to pay for giving up a summer laying by the pool.

Kiss, whose songs include “Rock n Roll All Nite,” “Detroit Rock City” and “Beth,” has made a name for itself as being one of the most over-the-top live pererformance bands ever seen.  Going to a Kiss show, you are guaranteed to see fire breathing, blood drooling, huge pyrothecnics, lots of smokes and lights and of course tongue waggling.  A thing some might not know about the band is that they have been big, long-time supporters of the U.S. military.  MSNBC.com points out the band’s generous contributions to the Wounded Warriors Project.  Now Kiss is taking its support to a new level by not only offering a paid job to a veteran but giving them a memory they will never forget.

Life is full of decisions.  In the movie “Almost Famous,” the lead character can either stay in the life he is living or take the risk and chase a dream.  Everyday there are proud Americans who make the difficult choice to leave their families and lives behind and serve in the military.  Kiss may be a silly rock band in make-up, but it is making the huge move to make someone who served our country’s dream come true.  In my opinion I cannot think of a group of people anymore deserving to have the chance to run down a dream.

Veterans interested in this position can apply by emailing their resume and contact information to hiringourheroes@uschamber.com.

 

Jordan O’Donnell

 

Everyone has gone to a restaurant or a store and received poor service at least once.  Various reasons can be to blame for this occurrence.  Perhaps the employee has been having a rough day, or it could be the waiter despises his job. Whatever the case, for most, it generally cannot be chalked up to a personal grudge being held against the patron. That is not the case when it comes to me.

There are numerous places I visit where I not only receive poor service, but I get the feeling the employees of the establishments actually hate me. It’s almost like I have unconsciously made them have a sinister vendetta against me. Some might say assuming there is a personal grudge between me and these employees is a bit neurotic and self consumed on my part. It is, but it also doesn’t mean it is not true. While suffering through these experiences, I have been with family and friends who have noticed the treatment as well. I have been out shopping on more than one occasion with my mother and the service we receive leads her to ask “What did you do to that person?”

I am not overly demanding or particular while out shopping or eating in a restaurant. I have no memory of ever being unruly or giving just cause for poor treatment. Nevertheless, I fall victim repeatedly to the anger of waiters and waitress everywhere. No matter how cheery my demeanor or willingness to tip handsomely, I continue to receive bad service at almost any business I step foot in. I have never had a place like the bar “Cheers” that is built around the motto as a place “where everybody knows your name.” All I have is a laundry list of establishments that seem to have posters of my face with a bulls-eye on it.

There are few things I love more than a good sandwich. I have found in my life that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get a quality made sandwich. There was a great sub shop I used to go to constantly because I was obsessed with their veggie sandwich. The toppings were always fresh and the sauce that was used was perfect. Also, the sandwich was always neatly made with care. The only problem was that to get this delicious treat I had to deal with the shop’s disgruntled team of workers. This army of large ill tempered women would bark across the deli case and make a person feel about an inch tall. Also if they didn’t approve of a topping combination you put together, they would not hesitate to tell you. I was called disgusting on numerous occasions and even one time a lady refused to make my sandwich because she didn’t like my request for two different sauces on the same sandwich. Yes, it was true that you would feel like you had just been beaten up upon leaving the shop, but that sandwich was just so good.

Much like my love of sandwiches, I also harbor a strong passion for coffee. Any time of day, I find myself enjoying either a hot or iced cup for a kick of caffeine. The coffee house I go to most often serves a great cup, and the place has an amazing atmosphere. However, this domain of java bliss is ruled by one of the most sinister baristas I have ever met. There is no plastic, over zealous cheer that often is presented by coffee house workers. This woman stands silently at the counter till you cower to her to give your order. After reciting your request without a word she turns and quickly makes your drink. While she works, she throws and bangs pots and cups.  Sometimes she can be heard muttering and groaning to herself.  Finally the only time she speaks is when she demands your money.  Whether she tells you what you owe is up to her.  Some days, she expects you to have already read the screen on her register yourself.  The only reason I tip this woman is solely out of fear. I am frightened that if I don’t throw a couple bucks in the tip jar she might finally fully snap and lunge across the counter and rip my throat out.

It would be silly to go to a fast food restaurant and expect top notch service. Also, when choosing to dine at these establishments, a gamble is taken on food quality. There is no assurance that your meal with be hot or even made correctly. My problems at fast food restaurants occur at the drive-thru window. Any change I try to make or addition is met with disgust from the worker. It is at fast food restaurants especially where familiarity breeds contempt. The instance a worker recognizes me as a repeat costumer, I am almost always met with an eye roll or the hissing question “Back again?” After having these negative experiences, I can say there is nothing like the discomfort of eating food you are almost sure someone has spit in. It’s all really a case of adding insult to injury. Not only is the unhealthy, fatty food slowly killing me the employees also rip down any self esteem I can muster.

There is only one conclusion I can come to as to why I attract poor service. I think that maybe in some past life I was the worst waiter in the world. Perhaps I owned a little shop where I would insult and abuse my patrons. For my indiscretions of my past life, I am now punished with a current lifetime of awful service. This theory I have come up with at least helps me sleep at night and not hold any grudges against people. I could continue to complain for a lifetime or just accept what goes around comes around.

Jordan O’Donnell

The world of reality television seems to continue to get more stale than month old bread.  Programs like “Survivor” have gone on way past its shelf life.  The show used to generate so much conversation and interest throughout pop culture and now can barely attract a low level of attention.  The excitement that surrounds “Jersey Shore” has seemed to fade like a artificial tan in the middle of February.  Then there are shows I regrettably still watch like “Hoarders” and “Kitchen Nightmares” that have evolved into episodes of over edited madness that hardly seem believable.  Despite the lack of originality reality television seems to trudge on.

The steady stream of reality television can get mind numbing.  Just when one thinks  every avenue this genre can go down has been exhausted, a cable network has found a fresh take.  Last month, the National Geographic Channel began airing its new program, “Doomsday Preppers.”  There are no spray tans, elimination challenges or roommate tantrums here.  “Doomsday Preppers” follows people who are actively getting ready for the end of the world.  Each person has a unique view on how the world will end so all their preparations are drastically different.  The kicker of the program is when assessment experts are brought in to give a review of the preppers work.  By the end of the episode, the prepper will be given a final judgement on their chances of survival.  “Doomsday Preppers” delivers several elements that the majority of reality television seems to lack.

With cable networks like AMC achieving success with a show like “The Walking Dead,” “Doomsday Preppers” is a perfect, original concept for a reality show.  In the past, it seems like the formula for reality shows has put out one of two results for the audience.  The programs can either be an escape and make one feel good that they are not in the position of those featured, or it can send an uplifting message by showing people trying to achieve a singing career despite a rough past or a struggling family getting a new home.  “Doomsday Preppers” stays away from the past reality formulas.  All of the people depicted are of the inclination the world is coming to an end very soon.  They all have different strategies, but the end of each story is the same.  The human race as a whole is doomed.  There is no uplifting storyline here, just people resorting to primal methods to survive.  While watching the show a person can laugh and be glad that they are not one of the Preppers, but it’s hard not to be haunted by the notion that maybe they are on to something you haven’t caught onto yet.

So much of reality television is obviously scripted.  A perfect example of this is A&E’s “Gene Simmons Family Jewels.”  The situations and dialogue seem so forced you can almost see the glow of the teleprompter reflecting off Gene Simmons’ raven black hair.  “Doomsday Preppers” cuts through all nonsense and, for better or worse, presents blunt honesty.  In an episode titled, “Bullets, Lots of Bullets,” a Houston, Texas, woman describes her love of fashion.  She explains how she enjoys elegant, fancy clothes but is sure to pick outfits that can effectively conceal weaponry.   As she sits in her small apartment, she also explains how she will have to part ways with her beloved cat in the event of the apocalypse.  She calmly describes how her boyfriend will deliver a bullet to the brain stem of the feline.  Though she says she will be sad to part ways with the animal, she takes comfort in that her and her man will take in strays once they reach their destination in Mexico.

A lot of promotional material for reality television programs seems to play up how cast members can get “crazy.”  The wild parties and fights that are front in center of the ads for Jersey Shore have attracted viewers again and again to the show.  Then on “Celebrity Apprentice,” it is a given that the commercials leading up to the newest episode will feature the D-List celebs feuding with one another as to whose fault it is they failed Donald Trump’s challenge.  “Doomsday Preppers” does not promote those featured on the show as party animals or struggling celebrities trying to sell sandwiches for charity.  What “Doomsday Preppers” proudly displays is real craziness.  The people featured on this show spend every waking hour stock piling weapons, canned goods and bottled water.  They have no time to engage in the everyday life many of us do, the people are too preoccupied with what they feel is their mission.  What adds an extra crinkle to their insanity is that the “Doomsday Preppers” think the rest of us in the world are the real stupid ones for not prepping as well.  By watching only a few minutes of “Doomsday Preppers,” one can instantly get the feeling that the people they are viewing are unlike any others ever featured on a television show.

The stars of many reality shows prove to be nothing more than fame hungry people starving for attention.  Some of the programs feature people fighting to get in the spotlight to enjoy their fleeting 15 minutes of fame.  Other programs highlight celebrities who have fallen out of relevancy and are clawing to get back on top.  If one thing can be said about those featured on “Doomsday Preppers,” it’s that these people do not fit into either of those categories.  The Preppers have no desire for fame and are not appearing on the show so they can tell their friends they were on television.  The Preppers believe the end of the world is near so what does fame matter.  If anything, I get the notion many of the Preppers consider their appearance on the show as a public service.  They are cluing America in on valuable information and teaching survival techniques that may save lives.  If viewers of the show pay attention and learn, that is up to them.  If given the choice, undoubtedly the Preppers would choose a solid supply of bullets and canned corn over being named the newest winner of “American Idol.”

It is true that many of those featured on “Doomsday Preppers” might be slightly off their rockers.  Yet unlike Snooki and the other folks who inhabit the shores of Jersey, the Preppers are at least working toward something that might end up being beneficial.  They won’t be inspiring any dance moves or hairstyles anytime soon but they are raising awareness to something most dare not think of, the end of the world as we know it.  No one knows when or how the world will collapse, but at least the Preppers are being mindful there will be an eventual end.  The show is wildly entertaining, but it does make one wonder how prepared are you when the end of the world comes knocking.

“Doomsday Preppers” airs on the National Geographic Channel at 8 p.m. on Tuesdays.

Jordan O’Donnell

Being the head coach of any sports team cannot be easy.

Not only does the coach have to create strategies to effectively take on opponents, he also has to deal with tensions in his own locker room.  The competitive nature of sports can spill off the field and cause friction between teammates.  Big egos and the lust to be top dog can contribute to problems between members of the same squad.

Before a team even can face the challenges of the opposition they must first learn how to coexist with each other.  This is the problem that the Ghana national soccer team is currently dealing with.

When it comes to problems within a sports team, often complaints have to do with disputes over playing time, player chemistry and overall morale of a team.  But the situation the Ghana national team is dealing with is a bit more complicated.  In a recent article on Foxsports.com, head coach Goran Stevanovic admits problems within his clubhouse can be credited to witchcraft.

The Ghana team, which has struggled as of late, finished a discouraging fourth place at the African continental championship.  Coach Stevanovic gave his analysis of the poor performance saying, “We all need to help in changing some players’ mentality about using ‘black power’ to destroy themselves.”

Foxsports.com attempted to reach out to the Ghana Football Association for comments but it refused to directly acknowledge the issue.  The GFA president would only say that it’s been noticed there seems to be divisions within the team.  He particularly cites a split between the younger players and the veterans.

Though a problem like witchcraft is not common in American sports, inner team conflicts certainly are.  For anyone who even loosely follows the NBA it is easy to remember the disaster the Los Angeles Lakers dealt with when the team featured both Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. Though there was no dark magic thrown around, the feud did eventually end with an awful impromptu rap song from O’Neal. Bryant should consider himself lucky because Shaq has proven he is skilled in performing magic. The giant NBA star displayed this talent in the unforgettable film “Kazaam,” where he starred as a rapping genie who emerged from an old boom-box.

Shaquille O’Neal’s acting talents aside, the fact is the Ghana soccer team will have to get its house in order as it approaches the next competitive matches.  The next World Cup is in 2014 in Brazil and having a team filled with players casting spells on one another is not a recipe for success.

So what is a coach to do when his locker room begins to look a lot like Hogwarts School of Wizardry?  I think Coach Stevanovic will have to start laying down some rules about when it is acceptable to practice witchcraft.  There also needs to be punishments put in place for players who chose to violate the set rules.  Something like multiple game suspensions for turning a fellow player into a toad or using an invisibility spell to avoid a defenseman.

If Ghana can get it’s witchcraft problem under control, perhaps the team could use it to the players’ advantage.  I know I would tune into all the team’s games if it meant their warm-up sessions involved penalty kick practice while flying on broomsticks.  Also the team’s talents in witchcraft could make for some pretty intriguing halftime shows.

The problems may seem very steep now for the Ghana soccer team but to be successful team members need to look on the bright side.  Maybe someday they will reach a place where the presence of witchcraft will be a positive.  If Kobe Bryant could survive the attacks from a rapping genie, then I have faith that this team will be able to move beyond its troubles with dark magic and achieve success on the soccer field.

— Jordan O’Donnell

Starbucks has been promoting a new special blend of coffee. The name of the roast is “Blonde” and is described by the Seattle-based coffee chain’s website as having a “shorter roast time, lighter body and mellow flavors.”  I have had this new coffee Starbucks is pushing and if by their description they really mean it is like drinking a steamy hot cup of air then they are dead on.  I should not have been tricked into even trying the “Blonde Blend.”  Throughout my lifetime I have had bad luck when it comes to anything blonde, it’s almost like I was cursed.

I had blonde hair when I was a little kid and I was adorable. I don’t brag on myself often, but looking back on pictures of my light-haired self wearing Oshkosh B’Gosh overalls, I am amazed.  I seriously should have been in commercials.  As I grew older, the blonde hair gave way to my now darker brown color.  This has caused countless people who have seen  pictures from my youth to look at me and ask “What happened?” The “blonde curse” struck me at a young age giving me an image I will never be able to live up to ever again.

While in college, I had a steady girlfriend for nearly two years. One summer, I took an internship in California and when I returned that fall I was surprised to find my once brunette partner had dyed her hair blonde. I tried to remain open-minded about the new hair do, but it was not long till the “blonde curse” reared it’s ugly head. The relationship quickly turned sour.

Bob Dylan’s album, “Blonde on Blonde,” served as the conclusion to his electric guitar-fueled rock trilogy, that also included “Bringing it all Back Home” and “Highway 61 Revisited.” Dylan choosing to name his album by that title may have brought on the “blonde curse.” In 1966, after touring for “Blonde on Blonde” Bob Dylan had an awful motorcycle accident. In his autobiography, “Chronicles, Volume 1,”  he wrote, “I had been in a motorcycle accident and I’d been hurt, but I recovered. Truth was that I wanted to get out of the rat race.” Following the
accident Dylan disappeared from the public eye for a while to then return with the acoustic record, “John Wesley Harding,” followed by the infamous album where he completely changed his singing voice “Nashville Skyline.” The “blonde curse” almost killed my favorite singer and severely altered his artistic production for several years.

Towards the end of my elementary school years, I made a horrible hairstyling decision. I had a procedure done to the tips of my hair referred to as “frosting.” The ends of my sandy brown hair were capped with a bright blonde color. This hair style went hand and hand with what I was going through at the time, what some call “my awkward stage.” I looked like a member of the worst boy band ever. The “blonde curse” spoiled every single family photo from that era.

I love Saturday afternoons. One of the primary reasons because of this is that cable usually is filled with quality movies I have not seen in years.

Lately, I have noticed there are several once reliable stations that have stopped showing the films I enjoy and seem to only play the Reese Witherspoon comedy “Legally Blonde.”  I won’t trash the movie neccesarly, but I think it’s wrong when it shows up on several stations usually coupled with it’s sequel as a double feature. The “blonde curse” has struck  my Saturday afternoons by finding a way to prevent epic films like “Predator” and “Die Hard” from  getting  any air time.

Some people avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk, strolling in front of black cats, or passing underneath ladders. I need to learn that I need to steer clear of everything blonde.  Starbucks may have managed to seduce me in with their new coffee beverage, but next time I will be sure to be more on my toes. I don’t know if the statement “Blondes have more fun” is true but what I do know as fact is that anything blonde sure seems to get delight in tormenting me.

Jordan O’Donnell