Summer is becoming more of a distant memory everyday. As we move further into fall, it becomes clear that craziness knows no season. In honor of the early fall madness, the Other Side pays another visit to the “Chaos Carnival.”

O'Donnell

Wrigley Field is not only home to a losing baseball team, but a dreadful collection of concession stands. According to aol.Sportingnews.com the famed Chicago Cubs stadium chalked up 20 critical violations after a recent health inspection. Among some of the disgusting things found around the park, there was black slime in an ice machine.  Representatives for Wrigley Field don’t mind the findings being released to the public, but the people with Warner Brothers should be furious. Those nosey health inspectors just spoiled the plotline of the movie “Contagion” for everyone.

The new season of the television show “Dancing with the Stars” has kicked off.  One of the featured stars this time around is Headline News host and creator of the word “tot-mom” Nancy Grace.  She isn’t a bad dancer, but her I think her partner will be complaining how her breath smells like bologna, swiss chesse and justice.

Billionaire Richard Branson is getting closer to launching the first ever space tourism program with his company Virgin Galactic. Foxnews.com reports the production plant in the Mojave Desert is completed and ready to begin producing passenger-ready spaceships. Once his ambitious conquest to space is finished, Branson will probably begin his true passion, which is journeying to the center of the earth to find the mole people.

Brought to us by “The Sydney Morning Herald,” results of the SMILE study led by University of New South Wales in Australia have found that laughter can reduce agitated behavior in patients who suffer from dementia. Needless to say this article is not being used as a tool in that study.

Actress and ex wife of the Green Lantern, Scarlett Johansson, allegedly was the feature of several nude photos that have leaked across the internet. Johansson has been quiet as to if the pictures are really her. Rest assured according to the “Huffington Post,” there has been an order filed for an FBI investigation. I believe all male agents working the case have been working extended hours examining the photos in depth for any “clues.”

A Little Rock, Arkansas weatherman has quit his position under unusual circumstances. Brett Cummins has officially left his position at a television station after he was found in a hot tub with a dead man, CNN reports. The night before the man’s demise, he had been drinking and doing drugs with Cummins. Much like breaking a mirror or crossing the path of a black cat, partying with your weatherman will probably produce really bad luck.

Donations from people with red hair to Cyros International are no longer needed. Cyros is one of the world’s largest sperm banks. According to MSNBC.com the director of Cyros claims no discrimination against those with red hair, but cites reasons for supply and demand. I would say it is because of this situation red headed college guys have to go back to giving blood and plasma to get extra money for beer and video games.

PETA will soon be using pornography to spread its message of animal rights. According to MSNBC.com the activist group has officially registered the domain name peta.xxx. The site hopes to persuade men to a vegetarian lifestyle by using the one thing they love more than red meat which of course is porn.

There are many lessons we can learn from this round of the Chaos Carnival. The world apparently needs no more red haired children, but we need a loud mouthed cable news attention begger attempting to salsa dance on television.  If you want to nap with a corpse in a hot tub, don’t plan on keeping your job as a weatherman. Then of course you would be better off eating out of your own toilet, than eating a hot dog at Wrigley Field. It may all seem crazy, but for better or worse, that’s the world we live in.

— Jordan O’Donnell

O'Donnell

We live in a strange and unusual world. The Other Side is a small attempt at bringing some of these odd events to light on The Local Q. In an effort to cover more ground, I’d like to introduce something new that will occur from time to time.  I would like to introduce The Chaos Carnival.  This will be an occasional round up of the ridiculous going on around this little rock we call Earth.

The consumerist.com reports a San Francisco woman was banned from shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch for spending too much money at the store.  The clothing store cited suspensions of reselling their merchandise at the reason for the ban. The woman operates an outreach program to provide clothes to men in fraternities across the United States.

This fall millions of frat brothers will be weeping due to having to wear last season’s popped collar polo shirts.

According to pcmag.com a Swedish exploring team has discovered an object that resembles the Millenium Falcon spacecraft from the “Star Wars” movies at the bottom of the Baltic Sea. Due to a limited budget the team could not research the strange occurrence further.

In related news a group of attention crazed, competitive Star Trek fans were seen hijacking a fishing boat. Their plans are believed to engage in a desperate search to find some type of marine life that resemble William Shatner.

Thanks to today.com I am sure you didn’t miss National Shoestring Fry Day on Aug. 12. The idea is to celebrate the thinly sliced fried potato. This is a perfect holiday for Americans.

Everyone enjoys a good helping of french fries. It’s not like there are problems of heart disease, high cholesterol and childhood obesity in this country. I skipped this holiday, because I am waiting to celebrate next month’s National smoke a pack of cigarettes while drinking a jug of bacon fat day.

With all the other hard hitting stories CNN reports, the news giant uncovered this gem. An online petition has gained popularity and encouraged debate over whether the Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie should get married.

Personally, I would rather see the two heckling guys from the opera box in The Muppets Show get hitched. I always thought those old guys had a charming romantic chemistry.

The Ukraine has decided to release eighty bears being held in captivity to be used in restaurants for entertainment. While performing, the bears were often force fed vodka, this according to the huffingtonpost.com.

Due to the creature’s taste for liquor they will not be placed in a sanctuary, but sent to MTV to audition for next season’s Jersey Shore.

That’s it for Chaos Carnival this week, those are the stories making waves in the world of the strange.  I’d love to share some more stories, but I have to go try to pry that bottle of vodka out of the claws of my pet bear.

For better or worse that’s the world we live in.