Everyone has gone to a restaurant or a store and received poor service at least once.  Various reasons can be to blame for this occurrence.  Perhaps the employee has been having a rough day, or it could be the waiter despises his job. Whatever the case, for most, it generally cannot be chalked up to a personal grudge being held against the patron. That is not the case when it comes to me.

O'Donnell

There are numerous places I visit where I not only receive poor service, but I get the feeling the employees of the establishments actually hate me. It’s almost like I have unconsciously made them have a sinister vendetta against me. Some might say assuming there is a personal grudge between me and these employees is a bit neurotic and self consumed on my part. It is, but it also doesn’t mean it is not true. While suffering through these experiences, I have been with family and friends who have noticed the treatment as well. I have been out shopping on more than one occasion with my mother and the service we receive leads her to ask “What did you do to that person?”

I am not overly demanding or particular while out shopping or eating in a restaurant. I have no memory of ever being unruly or giving just cause for poor treatment. Nevertheless, I fall victim repeatedly to the anger of waiters and waitress everywhere. No matter how cheery my demeanor or willingness to tip handsomely, I continue to receive bad service at almost any business I step foot in. I have never had a place like the bar “Cheers” that is built around the motto as a place “where everybody knows your name.” All I have is a laundry list of establishments that seem to have posters of my face with a bulls-eye on it.

There are few things I love more than a good sandwich. I have found in my life that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get a quality made sandwich. There was a great sub shop I used to go to constantly because I was obsessed with their veggie sandwich. The toppings were always fresh and the sauce that was used was perfect. Also, the sandwich was always neatly made with care. The only problem was that to get this delicious treat I had to deal with the shop’s disgruntled team of workers. This army of large ill tempered women would bark across the deli case and make a person feel about an inch tall. Also if they didn’t approve of a topping combination you put together, they would not hesitate to tell you. I was called disgusting on numerous occasions and even one time a lady refused to make my sandwich because she didn’t like my request for two different sauces on the same sandwich. Yes, it was true that you would feel like you had just been beaten up upon leaving the shop, but that sandwich was just so good.

Much like my love of sandwiches, I also harbor a strong passion for coffee. Any time of day, I find myself enjoying either a hot or iced cup for a kick of caffeine. The coffee house I go to most often serves a great cup, and the place has an amazing atmosphere. However, this domain of java bliss is ruled by one of the most sinister baristas I have ever met. There is no plastic, over zealous cheer that often is presented by coffee house workers. This woman stands silently at the counter till you cower to her to give your order. After reciting your request without a word she turns and quickly makes your drink. While she works, she throws and bangs pots and cups.  Sometimes she can be heard muttering and groaning to herself.  Finally the only time she speaks is when she demands your money.  Whether she tells you what you owe is up to her.  Some days, she expects you to have already read the screen on her register yourself.  The only reason I tip this woman is solely out of fear. I am frightened that if I don’t throw a couple bucks in the tip jar she might finally fully snap and lunge across the counter and rip my throat out.

It would be silly to go to a fast food restaurant and expect top notch service. Also, when choosing to dine at these establishments, a gamble is taken on food quality. There is no assurance that your meal with be hot or even made correctly. My problems at fast food restaurants occur at the drive-thru window. Any change I try to make or addition is met with disgust from the worker. It is at fast food restaurants especially where familiarity breeds contempt. The instance a worker recognizes me as a repeat costumer, I am almost always met with an eye roll or the hissing question “Back again?” After having these negative experiences, I can say there is nothing like the discomfort of eating food you are almost sure someone has spit in. It’s all really a case of adding insult to injury. Not only is the unhealthy, fatty food slowly killing me the employees also rip down any self esteem I can muster.

There is only one conclusion I can come to as to why I attract poor service. I think that maybe in some past life I was the worst waiter in the world. Perhaps I owned a little shop where I would insult and abuse my patrons. For my indiscretions of my past life, I am now punished with a current lifetime of awful service. This theory I have come up with at least helps me sleep at night and not hold any grudges against people. I could continue to complain for a lifetime or just accept what goes around comes around.

Jordan O’Donnell

Jack White has enjoyed over a decade of holding the title of the King of the Hipsters. He first captured attention while fronting the blues/rock duo the White Stripes alongside his ex-wife Meg. He continued to make musical magic with his ventures The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather. He has collaborated with R & B artist Alicia Keys to rip out a theme for the James Bond film “Quantum of Solace.” In addition to all of these credentials, the eccentric guitarist has continued to position himself as a major player in music by establishing his own label Third Man Records. The label’s headquarters in Nashville specializes in printing vinyl.

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I was one of many who completely drank the Kool-Aid when it came to the god status of Jack White. I followed all his off the wall antics, fashion choices and would buy any music he put out. I forked over money to buy the awful “Cold Mountain” soundtrack just to get three relatively worthless blue grass cuts sung by White. I even eagerly listened along while White tried to breath life into the dated careers of Loretta Lynn and Wanda Jackson.

For the longest time Jack White could do no wrong in my eyes. So, needless to say, when I discovered he would be releasing his first solo album this spring I was excited. My eagerness only grew when I found out he would be the musical guest for Saturday Night Live’s first March episode. I looked past the impending train wreck that would be Lindsay Lohan taking over hosting duties. All I cared about was seeing one of my idols take to the stage and play new music. Sadly when the episode finally aired, not only was I disappointed with White, I may have turned against him.

The television spots leading up to the Saturday Night Live episode gave forewarning that Jack White had amped up his old gimmick of being “awkward for the sake of being awkward.” The spots, which also featured host Lindsay Lohan and cast member Andy Samberg, left a lot to be desired. As Samberg and Lohan attempted senseless jokes about secret handshakes, Mouseketeers and being a human sandwich, White was left in the background making faces like he was anxiously waiting to use the restroom. Though the point of a couple of the spots seemed to be having White portray an attitude of uncomfortableness with his counterparts, it seemed there was less acting and more true feelings bleeding through. Instead of taking an opportunity to poke fun at himself or at least injecting some humor, White instead kept up his hipster street cred with his ambivalence.

When the time came for White’s actual performance on Saturday Night Live his choice of backing bands became a focal point. Like all musical guests on the sketch comedy show, White was allotted two songs to perform. For each number White featured a different yet equally bizarre back up crew. For his first number, he filled the stage with a band that consisted only of women, all dressed in white. With the matching outfits and overall vibe, it felt like watching a cult perform. Then for White’s second song he opted for an all-male band. The majority of the group looked like players from a broken-down jazz lounge.  The second band also featured a hyperactive drummer who couldn’t seem to be able to remain seated. With the usage of these two odd bands it was obvious White wanted to portray a certain image but couldn’t settle on which one.

The two songs White performed on Saturday Night Live will both be featured on his upcoming solo album “Blunderbuss.” Besides the previously mentioned fact he played with two completely different bands, the tunes were also strikingly different in style. The first was the album’s single, a twangy number entitled “Love Interruption.” The song ,along with the music video, have been making the rounds of the Internet for several weeks.  White returns to his old minimalist ways on this one to achieve an old stripped-down country sound. Lyrically one gets the feel White might be getting  bitter toward love due to his two failed marriages. There are plenty of lines in this song that should be sung with a forked tongue.  At it’s best “Love Interruption,” while catchy, seems like a White Stripes B-Side. For his second song, White performed the dirtier, louder “Sixteen Saltines.” In a haze of fuzz and distortion, it was hard to make out what White was singing or what the song itself even sounded like. Where White’s guitar god glory was once his charm, this effort seemed a bit too self indulgent even for him.

The thing that almost saved the entire Saturday Night Live performance for me was Jack White’s overall stage presence. At times during “Sixteen Saltines” he gave glances of his former self while fronting the White Stripes. He swung and contorted his body violently while thrashing at the strings of his guitar. His wild black hair just got crazier as the night went on. By the end of his second tune his mane looked as if he had just woke up from a long six-day sleep. While flashes of this old glory appeared, White seemed like he had to inevitably return to center stage and regroup everyone else. With his two separate backing bands, White had to take on a role that was less front man and more conductor making sure everyone stayed on the same page. It was a dragging reminder that the haphazard, carefree days of the White Stripes when he made up things as he went along were long gone.

If it wasn’t crystal clear before his appearance on Saturday Night Live, then it should be now. We all get it Jack White, you are the coolest guy in the room. It’s safe to say you have made your point. I ‘m not sure if its the weird backing bands or how White tries to prove that there can be someone more socially awkward and uncomfortable than Bob Dylan. The thing is, I must be missing something. I may have followed Mr. White down many avenues in the past, but this is where I get off.

Nothing will change the fact White has become one of the most acclaimed guitarists of all time. The man built a legacy creating garage rock anthems but this latest turn as a solo artist falls on deaf ears with me. In light of Jack White embracing his throne as Lord of the Hipsters, it’s probably best we part ways. As I am left scratching my head after his Saturday Night Live performance, I can only watch the tail lights of the “cool kids bus” as it leaves me behind.

— Jordan O’Donnell

The logo of the Ghana Football Association does not include a broomstick.

Not only does the coach have to create strategies to effectively take on opponents, he also has to deal with tensions in his own locker room.  The competitive nature of sports can spill off the field and cause friction between teammates.  Big egos and the lust to be top dog can contribute to problems between members of the same squad.

Before a team even can face the challenges of the opposition they must first learn how to coexist with each other.  This is the problem that the Ghana national soccer team is currently dealing with.

When it comes to problems within a sports team, often complaints have to do with disputes over playing time, player chemistry and overall morale of a team.  But the situation the Ghana national team is dealing with is a bit more complicated.  In a recent article on Foxsports.com, head coach Goran Stevanovic admits problems within his clubhouse can be credited to witchcraft.

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The Ghana team, which has struggled as of late, finished a discouraging fourth place at the African continental championship.  Coach Stevanovic gave his analysis of the poor performance saying, “We all need to help in changing some players’ mentality about using ‘black power’ to destroy themselves.”

Foxsports.com attempted to reach out to the Ghana Football Association for comments but it refused to directly acknowledge the issue.  The GFA president would only say that it’s been noticed there seems to be divisions within the team.  He particularly cites a split between the younger players and the veterans.

Though a problem like witchcraft is not common in American sports, inner team conflicts certainly are.  For anyone who even loosely follows the NBA it is easy to remember the disaster the Los Angeles Lakers dealt with when the team featured both Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. Though there was no dark magic thrown around, the feud did eventually end with an awful impromptu rap song from O’Neal. Bryant should consider himself lucky because Shaq has proven he is skilled in performing magic. The giant NBA star displayed this talent in the unforgettable film “Kazaam,” where he starred as a rapping genie who emerged from an old boom-box.

Shaquille O’Neal’s acting talents aside, the fact is the Ghana soccer team will have to get its house in order as it approaches the next competitive matches.  The next World Cup is in 2014 in Brazil and having a team filled with players casting spells on one another is not a recipe for success.

So what is a coach to do when his locker room begins to look a lot like Hogwarts School of Wizardry?  I think Coach Stevanovic will have to start laying down some rules about when it is acceptable to practice witchcraft.  There also needs to be punishments put in place for players who chose to violate the set rules.  Something like multiple game suspensions for turning a fellow player into a toad or using an invisibility spell to avoid a defenseman.

If Ghana can get it’s witchcraft problem under control, perhaps the team could use it to the players’ advantage.  I know I would tune into all the team’s games if it meant their warm-up sessions involved penalty kick practice while flying on broomsticks.  Also the team’s talents in witchcraft could make for some pretty intriguing halftime shows.

The problems may seem very steep now for the Ghana soccer team but to be successful team members need to look on the bright side.  Maybe someday they will reach a place where the presence of witchcraft will be a positive.  If Kobe Bryant could survive the attacks from a rapping genie, then I have faith that this team will be able to move beyond its troubles with dark magic and achieve success on the soccer field.

— Jordan O’Donnell