STONER: Worst Christmas CD contest
So I thought we should have an ugly Christmas music contest, too. Before we get to that though, I don’t want to be all negative, so here are a couple of Christmas CDs that I really love:
“James Brown’s Funky Christmas” – with classics like “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto” and “Tit for Tat (Ain’t No Taking Back),” you can’t possibly go wrong. This is 17 songs of funky Christmas bliss that you should check out if you haven’t already. I made my boys listen to it on the trip to Quincy and back to St. Louis last weekend. The reviews were mixed, but it will grow on them.
“A Jolly Christmas From Frank Sinatra” – All the classics are here, with 14 swingin’ songs capped off with a 28 second Christmas Seals Public Service Announcement from Frank. Hmmm, that was unexpected. Anyway, this CD will make you wish you lived in Vegas during the ’50s at Christmas time with a cigarette in one hand and cocktail in the other. I couldn’t get my boys interested in this one.
“If Every Day Were Like Christmas by Elvis Presley” — NO ONE does Christmas songs better than Elvis. This is 24 songs with all the classics and well worth the $9 price on Amazon. Again, if your kids are under 20, chances are slim they’ll give this one much of chance.
So it is now time for the candidates:
What I am going to throw at you here are the CDs, full-length, that I’ve found that make me cringe.
Facebook and Local Q friends: Please comment with your vote for the worst CD. You can always go to Amazon or Youtube to listen to some samples. I’ll announce the winner (loser) next week.
Also, later in the week, I’m going to throw out candidates for the worst Christmas Song (single). Let me know if you have any candidates that need included in that one. Here we go:
Christmas Album – Tiny Tim. My buddy Rodney Hart pointed this one out last week. I’m speechless. No words can possibly describe this.
Kenny G — The Greatest Holiday Classics. I remember one Christmas season being in the dentist chair drugged out of my mind getting a root canal and hearing this whole CD. I was digging it. That was the ONLY time I’ve dug it.
A Boiling Vat Of Adhesive Xmas by Substance W. — 28 Christmas classics turned into garbage. At least you get 28 “songs.”
Twisted Sister – A Twisted Christmas. Now I was a metal head in the ’80s and ’90s and still lean towards heavy metal, so I won’t say much negative here. 10 Christmas songs. It could be worse… there could be 11 of them.
Lohan Holiday – Ali Lohan. Folks, I think we have winner (loser). At least this is where I’m casting my vote. Apparently when Lindsay Lohan is not willing to do a project or is busy with court dates, Dina Lohan gives the project to Ali. In fact, it looks like Dina even does a duet with Ali on Silent Night. I listened to 4 of the 12 songs and reached for the spiked eggnog. Give it a listen.
Christmas Is 4 Ever – Bootsy Collins. Parliament-Funkadelic icon Bootsy Collins brings these 13 funky Christmas songs to us. I have no problems with this at all. I just included it because I love to say “Bootsy Collins” more than any other name in the English language right now.
Christmas with the Chipmunks – The Chipmunks. Sure it was funny when we were kids, but seriously, can anyone take more than one song without freaking out? I can’t.
I’m sure I’ve missed many of them, so let me know whom you would vote for or if you have a write-in vote. And remember, I’m looking for candidates for the worst single Christmas song for later in the week.
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