VAN DYKE: First Anniversary
It has been a year since I began writing this blog, so I thought it would be a good time to update my bio. The first thing I need to update is my atrocious headshot. I really need to get a new one. I may hire a stand-in for that. Other than that, I just need to put in there that I play bass for the Cheeseburgers now and I have absolutely no idea how that happened. I have to admit it is pretty cool to have played with both of the McKay Brothers. There are actually three McKay brothers and I had a history class at QND with the oldest one, so I guess I have collaborated with all of them over the years. Anyway, I guess I should also add more information about my personality. I used to be normal. I was about 5 when that changed. I made the mistake of walking behind some swings that were shaped like horses and got laid out by one of them. It knocked out my front teeth and split my lip so I needed about 10 stitches. It was at this point that something was either opened or closed in my mind and I became a new person. I became fixated on two things: music and why people behave the way they do. From that day on, mainly because I was unable to move my mouth without intense pain for about a month, I became more of a listener and observer and less of a speaker or communicator. But enough with my sketchy past …
There are two Queensryches now. Personally, I do not see the need for one. I was a fan of the band up until the album “Promised Land,” which was back in the ‘90s. I had no idea they were still together. I guess at some point, the singer turned into the illegitimate son of Anton LaVey and Ming the Merciless or maybe it was the genie in that Bugs Bunny cartoon. At any rate, he and the rest of the band got into a fight and they kicked him out and replaced him with another guy. Both parties are now working on albums and playing shows as Queensryche. Sad. Or is it? I guess everyone has the right to make a buck. For me, the saddest part is that both of these bands will be out there making it harder for new and local bands to get booked. As I looked around the Internet, there are several bands that have two ‘instances’ going around the country. L.A. Guns has two versions. I had to type that eight times because I was laughing so hard. L.A. Guns! I remember they had a couple of songs that were kind of popular. I guess they each took one! I think they were part of the late ‘80s guns rush where every band with guns in its name was signed immediately. Great White is another one. I just don’t get it. I saw this band twice back in their heyday and they were really good but they have done almost nothing for me since then. Again this was an issue between the singer and the rest of the band. I do not have too much to say about this one since a tragedy was involved that would have made most anyone lose their mind. I will say that Jack Russell is the better singer of the two and is WAY better at sharkin’ than the other guy.
Since this is happening, I have a hunch that bands will soon follow the lead of the movie industry and start doing only sequels and remakes. I mean, that seems to be all anyone wants anymore. At least that is what all the entertainment companies seem to think. It is already happening to some extent. Just turn on the country radio station and you can hear what I mean. I have mentioned that before, I know. Before long, those bands will start latching onto the classics and doing ‘reboots.’ I can only imagine the stuff we will be seeing. Five Finger Death Punch does Ziggy Stardust! Nickelback presents Exile on Main Street! Ke$ha doing Thriller! Ugh! I would go on, but I need to start tracking for my new album. It is a re-imagination of “The Wall” by Pink Floyd. I don’t want to give it away, but think Pink meets Tom Sawyer in Hannibal …
There is a great party with the Cheeseburgers celebrating Six String Heroes at Turner Hall this Saturday. Let me know if you need tickets.
— Don VanDyke
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