Originally, this was going to be a post about hot sauces that some musicians are peddling these days. Since none of the companies would step up and send me any tasting samples, I will assume that they are all not as good as the sauces produced around here. A few days after I realized I would need to pursue another idea for this blog, I saw a post by a musician that said simply, “It’s all about the sauce.” It made me think of food, of course, and how you can have the same dish at two different places and have a totally opposite reaction to each of them. I was then reminded of it again while watching someone massacre a great song on one of the singing competition shows. It was a song I had also heard a local artist play once and it was great.

Van Dyke

The thing is, most music artists are cooking with the same ingredients. Most rock music is made of guitars, bass, drums and sometimes keyboards with someone singing. It is like the television show where three chefs are each given a basket of the same ingredients and have to make three dishes. You would think that they would all do the same thing, but they usually have drastically different results. It is the same way in music. Slash, Mark Tremonti and Brad Paisley all play the same six strings, but if you asked them all to write a song using just a guitar, they would probably be three very different songs.

For some reason, this leads me to the idea of cover bands. I consider a cover band to be any band that does not play 80 percent original material. They usually are playing anywhere around town on any given weekend. Most cover bands are actually bands with original material, but they do not have four hours of it to play. I remember when I was in a band and how difficult it was to pick out good cover songs. We would always pick these songs that we thought were awesome, and they would get like zero response when we played them live. Actually, there was nothing funnier to me than doing an absolutely perfect version of something and hearing nothing afterward but the sound of billiards and the distant clapping of someone’s girlfriend. Then we would learn a song we did not really like at all at someone’s request and people would go nuts. That is the difficult thing in a cover band, because that changes at every show, and it is very difficult to find that balance of stuff you like to play versus what people want to hear. So how do you do it? I have no idea, but here are a few observations I have compiled based on things I have seen and heard from bands and spectators over the last few years.

For one, people like to dance. I am not sure why, but this seems to be a need for most people. You have to play at least a few tunes every set that someone can dance to. This does not include slow dancing. You should dedicate no more than one song each set to the slow dance, possibly less. Slow dances are for wedding receptions. Also, as a side note, try to keep the talking in between songs to a minimum unless it is entertaining. I have been to so many shows where someone takes 5 minutes to talk in between and no one can hear what they say because they seem to forget that they sound checked for singing and not talking. If you do not talk at the same volume you sing, then it sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher when you try to give us your life story from DNA. This is not much of a problem with bands around here, so hopefully you will not experience it.

A cover band needs to add something to the songs they play too, because it is all about the sauce. It is about what you can add to a song to make it your own. I have seen a lot of different techniques employed to do this. The sing-along is a common one. Then there is the breakdown where you change the tempo or volume of the song or both. An extended solo is usually stuck in a few songs by a lot of bands. Sometimes bands use props and costumes to enhance the experience, and sometimes it even works. I have seen some bands use completely different arrangements of songs. They will take a pop song and play a country version or a speed metal version. Again, sometimes it works.

Another thing is a medley, which is taking two or more songs and putting them together.

I remember a band doing a Led Zeppelin medley that was really good. Their guitar player looked more like Robert Plant than the singer, though. These are just things that I have heard people mention and tell me they liked with certain bands. Please do not assume I know anything, because that would be extremely foolish.

Just remember whatever you do, do not use a jarred or pre-made sauce. Make it from scratch. It may take a while to perfect, but that is half the fun.

Make sure to check out some of the local bands and artists around Quincy. And if you find yourself in a place that does not have live music, ask why…

Don Van Dyke

Limbaugh

Recently, some bands demanded that Rush Limbaugh not use their music anymore on his radio show. This was due to the fact that he said some stupid things on the show when arguing a point on a political issue. According to various media publications, The Rush Limbaugh radio show is the most listened to radio program in the country with an audience estimated at 15 million listeners weekly. Regardless of whether or not I agree with Mr. Limbaugh’s politics or beliefs, I would not hesitate to allow my music to be played for that size of an audience.

Van Dyke

To me, this is just silly. The bands say it is because they do not want anyone to think they are in any way associated with Mr. Limbaugh. If you think about that, it is almost like they are saying people are too stupid to understand that if someone plays a song  on the radio, the band must support them in some way. I think most people make no conclusions whatsoever regarding this. If anything, the reverse is true.  The program is supporting the artists because it pays for a license to broadcast music, which generates royalties for the artists. Unless you are a big time band like Rage Against the Machine or Rush, royalties are a big deal, especially these days because record and CD sales are a fraction of what they have been in the past.

When I was in Davenport, I used to work as a pizza delivery driver. I listened to the Rush Limbaugh show every afternoon because my car had an AM radio and it was either Rush or silence. They always played good music between the radio segments. At no time did it even cross my mind that the musicians supported or did not support the conservative viewpoint presented on the program. This was during the Bill Clinton administration, so the banter on the show was fiery to say the least. I do not recall any bands or artists issuing cease and desist orders about it back then.

Musicians have a long history of being supportive or unsupportive of politicians and political viewpoints. I have no problem with that. We have that right as Americans. Where I get irritated is when they try to dictate who is allowed to like their music. Why not be appreciative that someone thinks your work is worthwhile? I wonder how I would feel if I got a letter in the mail from my favorite band asking me to send them back all the CDs and erase their songs from my computer because they are vegetarians and saw a picture of me buying eight pounds of bacon. I would be pretty disappointed in their lack of understanding of my beliefs. I would wonder if they had nothing better to do than pay attention to what I am doing. Why not write a song about the horrors of meat and put it out for sale with proceeds going to the cause.

Why punish me? I like some vegetables too!

As a fan of music, I have no idea what the beliefs of most of the artists I listen to are. I really could not care less. If something is good, it is good. Bruce Springsteen and Ted Nugent are polar opposites when it comes to their politics — Springsteen being a supporter of democratic leanings and Nugent a serious conservative. Whatever your beliefs are, you would be nuts to pass up a chance to attend a concert by either of them. Even the most conservative people I know are big fans of artists who hold some of the most looney liberal beliefs. This is because they understand that music holds no beliefs. It just is. So all you artists and bands out there:  Just because someone is a nut job, do not take your music away from them. It may be the only redeeming quality they have left.

I think I am going to start writing to some radio shows and demand that they stop playing my music, too. I think I’ll start with some of the local morning shows. Then I’ll work my way up to Clark Howard and Dave Ramsey, then on to O’Reilly, Glen Beck, and Limbaugh. At least it might get my name out there.  Maybe I’ll start a service that does this for other artists. Just send me a message on the down-low and I will get your music yanked from a bunch of shows, too. Once the word gets out, their competitors will be playing our stuff non-stop!

Don Van Dyke

Hank Williams, Jr.

When I was growing up, most all the music we listened to was country. I still remember the radio station, Gem Country 105. The likes of Conway Twitty, George Jones, and the Statler Brothers were permanently stamped into my brain at a very young age.

Van Dyke

Recently, I spent a lot of time listening to some of the current country music. I found myself wondering how some of these songs could be considered country at all. They all either sound like Nickelback with steel guitar, banjo, and maybe a fiddle thrown in there (probably played on a synthesizer), or just contemporary pop artists. Sure, there are a few actual country music artists out there, but you really have to dig for them. Seriously, I think you really need something more than a cowboy hat, a guitar, and two first names to be a country artist. Or wait…

So, when and how was country music ruined for me? Probably sometime after Alabama sold 40 billion records back in the 1980s. They seem to mark the point where Nashville turned to Trashville. I have nothing against Alabama. I think they were and are fantastic. The problem is the music industry tried to make every artist and every song sound the same as theirs. Then, just when it seemed that real country music was on the verge of a triumphant comeback with Willie, Waylon and Hank Junior, Garth Brooks appeared. Again, Garth is OK with me. Well, until he did that Chris Gaines nonsense. What was that? The cloning machine was fired back up. Party on, Garth.

The songs are the worst part. They are all just half-baked Skynyrd knockoffs, or rehashed Jimmy Buffet. Some are just unclever gimmick songs or tired attempts at other genres that sound about as fresh as a gas station hamburger. Yes, there are some good, listenable songs on the country charts too. They just are not really country songs. They are so poppy and mainstream that I am shocked Adele did not clean up on their Grammys too. Is it just me or are you an even bigger fan of Adele’s after she recently showed the industry suits what she thought of them?

To me, it is just a travesty that traditional country music has all but disappeared from radio, and we are forced to take in these sparkly jeans wearing phonies. When I saw a production number on one of the country award shows, it was over for me. I found myself thinking of the old TV show Hee-Haw and how long one of these clowns would last on there before Grandpa Jones found a new place for his banjo.

All the music sounds like the same musicians played it, and it was recorded in the same studio. This leads me to another thing I find disturbing about country music today. There are no bands. I bet you would have a hard time naming more than five actual country bands. I am not talking about Sugarland, Brooks and Dunn, or even Rascal Flatts. They are singing groups. A band has a drummer. Why are there hardly any bands in country music? Maybe it has something to do with record companies. Nashville is literally crawling with musicians. A group can be put together to record songs at an almost non-stop pace. If you are a solo artist or singing group, all you have to do is your vocal parts wherever you are, especially now with the recording technology available.  You could be out on a tour and have your next album in the can before you even get back home. With a band, you have four or more people to get set up and dialed in which can take hours, even days to do. The industry would rather spend that time and money to find better songs from proven songwriting machines. Hey boys, make sure you mention mud or cold beer!

I am just disgusted with the music industry and how they have cartoonized everything from hip-hop to metal. This is why I am delighted to see the music industry crumbling and more artists distributing their own music directly to the fans. Instead of trying to come up with enough songs to make an album, they are trying to just make the best songs they can, one at a time, quality over quantity. The idea of an album was killed years ago anyway by the space available on CDs. Instead of shooting for 30 to 45 minutes of material, they were trying to get 50, 60 even nearly 75 minutes like the Metallica CDs of the mid-‘90s. (I think that one album had steel guitar on it somewhere, hmm…) So you ended up getting around 18 minutes of good stuff and a bunch of filler and experiments.

An album should last about the amount of time you can tolerate an unannounced guest. You invite it in, make it a drink, look over the packaging, maybe have another drink with it, maybe two. It should take 45 minutes at the most. Any longer than that is just too much to absorb. But, we will get more into that next time. Until then, check out both kinds of music. Country AND Western!

Don Van Dyke

Yes, the Grammys happened this week. Where was the award for best guide vocal recording? Is it just me, or does anyone else think it’s weird that a ceremony celebrating recordings is criticized every year for having performances by artists who appear to be lip syncing? I always have wondered why they have live performances on the Grammy award show at all. No one goes on stage at the Oscars and performs a scene from their movie. I do not recall seeing the cast of the Big Bang Theory perform their current episode on the Emmys either. It is about the best performances captured on tape. It is more about the finished product than the actual art of the music. The whole thing is just odd to me. Don’t get me wrong, there is an art to making good recordings, but you have to have the music first. My advice is not to bother wasting three hours of your life watching these shows. You do not need some silly awards show telling you what good music is. You already know that.

Van Dyke

Much like my other passions in life, food and drink, music is very taste driven and taste can change very quickly. This is why I struggle when someone asks me what my favorite band is or my favorite album, or my favorite drink. Today, my favorite band may be Pink Floyd, my favorite album may be “Revolver” by the Beatles, and my favorite drink may be red Mountain Dew. BUT, tonight my favorite band may be Fielder, my favorite album may be “Rocks” by Aerosmith, and my favorite drink may be Jameson on the rocks. Ask me again in an hour, and I will probably have different answers. For me, music is very situational. Just like I am most likely not going to be out on the patio in my jammies at 5 a.m. grilling steaks for breakfast, I probably will not be popping in a Mastodon CD while I take my kids to school in the morning. If you know me, you would not be a bit surprised if I actually did either of those things.

It should be your own taste that drives what music you like, not some doofus blogger or tacky award show. Maybe you are picky about what you listen to, or maybe you like everything. All I ask is that you give everything a chance. As Geddy Lee from Rush once said, “There are a lot of empty calories on the radio these days.” Do not get filled up on those when you can have something good for you like a big bowl of Black Country Communion. I cannot guarantee you will like them, but you will.

Also like the best food you can eat, the best music you can hear is organically grown locally. Sure, you can shell out the money a few times a year to go see the big names in St. Louis or Chicago, and there is nothing wrong with that. All I am saying is that there is some great stuff being cooked up around here every weekend at some absolutely fantastic venues. Just check out the calendar page right here on The Local Q for details! If you do not want to go out every night, you can always stay home and make your own music. There are lots of great places to buy the freshest ingredients to do that as well, if you know what I mean.

Valentine’s Day is also this week. Do not waste your money on flowers and chocolate when you can give the gift of music. Sure you can buy some CD’s, but wouldn’t it be a better idea to buy your significant other a guitar? This works especially well if you know how to play it, so you can teach them. Use your imagination. If you do not know how to play, buy lessons for both of you. Even if neither of you continue playing and you end up donating the guitar to Six String Heroes, you will get something out of the experience. Trust me …

Don Van Dyke