Jacob McGuire

It’s bright and sunny; the day is beautiful. I should be out enjoying it. I do enjoy the great outdoors; I do have fun; I even am supposed to be writing a blog about it. However my outdoor adventures have come to a screeching halt thanks to a man named Christopher Nolan, a director of moving pictures.

The other day — after months of anticipation — I went to see Inception and Sweet Marie, was it a glorious experience. It had great performances, action and a twisting plot complete with a dream within a dream within a dream … I lost count. About halfway through Inception, the large soda hit I was faced with the choice of just suffering through the pain or becoming lost in the compelling storyline. I chose to endure; hopefully it will build character or something positive rather than just stretch my bladder out leading to a UTI or one day maybe even incontinence as WebMD suggests.

The entire way home, the remainder of the evening, and next few days were completely devoted to discussing the movie, trying to answer questions and debating if Leo finally topped his Growing Pains performance. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjVYwaTRJI0)

It was pretty clear what had happened, my friends and I had developed “Ruptured Colon Nolan” (it’s like Bieber Fever but less socially taboo). The evenings after work following the Inception experience were filled with nothing but viewings of Nolan’s previous work. The first night was Memento — guy loses his short term memory, aspires to avenge his murdered wife, you know, the usual. The non-linear storyline is seen by some as a cheap trick to make the movie more interesting, I think it works brilliantly to show the tricks memory can play on all of us. Next up was the Prestige, followed by Insomnia, at this point my brain was slightly withering due to the mystery thrillers filled with plot twists, but I press on.

It was time to get to what made me love Nolan’s work in the first place. Batman Begins, and the Dark Knight. Batman is something I have aspired to be since I was a little kid. I do however have a few shortcomings. I am not a billionaire; I have no parents to avenge; and the word portly often comes up when describing my physical features. With these less than Batman worthy attributes, Nolan’s Batman films are the next best thing. The fight scenes are great, excellent pacing, and best of all no bat nipples like Joel Shumaker tried to pull on 1997’s “Batman and Robin” One you get past Christian Bale’s Batman sounding like he has been smoking for 60 years, the movies are incredible.

After viewing all of the Nolan movies, I was spent. I had a hard time focusing on other things, I wasn’t quite sure my legs worked anymore. I felt like Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when he tried to stand up after being in bed for some crazy amount of years. I opened a curtain and the sun started burning my pasty skin. The Nolan marathon was fun and the movies are great, but I recommend spreading them out over a few weeks span for the sake of your health.